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I am suppose to be happy when others are happy but yet i still have this weird feeling which me feel so sad and fall apart..really, i work so damn hard to be who i am now and try to achieve more good grades in my study but i guess i am not the choose one..i need to plan again what am i going to next in order to excel.. everybody seems to gain something during this opportunity of studying abroad..but me? what do i gain? i tried my best in everything that i do, i put high hope and effort in my study but, why i am still at the comfort zone? why? i hate to ask this question again and again..kinda mess up right now..to whom i shall share all this painful thoughts and feeling..why Liyana? what happened to you? i am so jealous of others who are smart, indeed they are genius..me? i'm kinda empty..i wanna be like them..i pushed my really hard to be here and i don't want to just let go this opportunity.. i want to make my mom and dad proud of me..i need to start from now..plan my study and try to push myself as hard as i could..