Need to Push Myself...

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I need to push myself a little harder.. I know and realize that I'm going back to the wrong direction..
I hate that to happen but yes it is happening.. I can feel it but yet I still be me, who seem does not really care much..
I hate this situation, in which I know that I wasted my valuable time with watching video clip on youtube.. I suppose to fill my heart, mind and soul with some soup for the life after..
I hate to be in this situation which I did not push myself harder.. I let the devil came in and whisper into my ears and mind..
my heart is too weak right now, I hate it and really hate it.. my prayer after solat become shorter, feeling like I do not know what to look for anymore..
I'm lost again, in the middle of road which I actually know the bright road need to be take.. yet I still here, doing nothing.. 

Please dear heart, be strong again, I know you can do it.. I know that u once feel so calm with Allah bless, please don't let it go away..
Ya Allah, make myself strong again, please do not loose hope in me, I know that You always love me and will never leave no matter what..
I will try to push myself harder because I don't want You to be disappointed in me..
Ya Allah, only You knows what's in my heart.. No matter what I won't let the light became gloomy and dark again..I will hold on to it..
Ya Allah, help me with You strength and stay with me till the end.. Amiin..