Some people do asked me actually, "why, x cari yg baru ja?" "cpt2 la cr yg baru, br la ang stabil sket." "kna cr weh, if x nnt dh umur dkt 30 br jumpa, ssh weh." etc.. and the questions go on and on.. Well, let me make things clear, yer people..and please don't ever feel like i'm being sarcastic or what because i just want u to know more about me.. yes, i'm a small complicated girl who thinks to survive in this world is not easy and need a lot of courage to go through..
The reasons why i don't really want to find a new boyfriend or partner now because:
Firstly, i can feel that finally i'm getting closer to my family.. I am so happy now, try to become a good daughter and good model to my younger sisters.. i now more realize that they need me to be always there for them and try my best to be the one that they adore and care so much.. i don't really know how to explain the feeling but yes i am so happy and i hope it will remains that way until i am ready to move on to further step in my life..
Secondly, after i broke up, maybe Allah really want me to see and appreciate everything around me, HE shows me the way.. People then keep on posting in fb something about "Couple dlm Islam", "Hbgn cinta menurut Islam" and etc.. At that particular moment, when i saw and read several articles about these things, i feel like, yes..it is like a wake up call for me which then i believes things happened for a reason, and i know Allah S.W.T always love people who really want to change for the better and the one who is seeking for HIS bless.. I am still trying to be one, i need to be able to change myself first before i change people around me.. and now, every time i feel like i want to find someone to be part of my life, there are several articles will keep pop out from fb and make me realize i'm not ready yet..and i believes the moment will come but maybe not now..
Thirdly, now i already set my heart, my mind, and my feeling that i don't need a new boyfriend but i need a guy who willing to take me as his faithful wife for the rest of his life.. i want to find a guy who want to be my husband and someone who willing to go through the journey together with Allah S.W.T bless.. I believes, without HIS bless we may not able to achieve what we want with the happy heart..
Fourthly, i need to change myself first before i can find a good guy to be my life partner.. this is important to me because people always said "Allah xkn beri apa yg kita idamankan, Allah akn beri apa yg kita perlukan".. So if i dream for a guy to be good, nice, kind-hearted and the one who always guide me to Allah path, i need to be lady which guy always dream to have who can help them and guide them to the right path...am i right?? i hope so..
And for the final reason is i need to catch up my dream first.. Becoming a teacher is my ambition and dream since i was a little girl..(wait..i am still little but only in size =p) So, i need to make sure that i don't miss anything which can distract me to graduate successfully in my study.. I need to prove to everybody who think that i am not really bright, i can achieve something in my life which make my parents smile and proud of me..
So guys, who ever read this..I am sure now u will understand better my situation, and when the time is right, u will be invited to my day.. =) For now, i am so happy..
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