Another self talking..

| |

Well, for those who really know me well, might know why i came back in silence..i had been trying so bad and really hard to keep a distance from my friends i mean my school friends.. some of u may wanna know why but some of u may not really care, so if u don't really care, STOP reading now and go to other page so that u won't waste your time reading my explanations and story..

Well, even though it is almost 5 years i left school but the pain and hardship that i've been through is still there..people might think that what is pass just let it be, yup it is true let it be but then, i'm the one who will face problems while meeting my friends.. i don't really know what to talk about, i may be talkative but not with everybody... i think i am a lonely person, who keep everything to myself as i think others may not know everything about hard for me to explain to others why i behave like who i am know..

Besides, i always think ahead and not really in positive way, mostly is quite dangerous though as it is stated in Al-Quran that we need to be positive and always have a nice thought about others but yet i can't..yes, i've positive thought about others but then the negative thought is always for me..i never think that people who know me will remember who i am to them..i am just a piece of paper with no dot, no word or even as line on it.. so i really think that is why i am still trying to run so far away as i could because i'm so afraid if all the things that in mind and heart are true..i won't be able to face it..

apart from that, i decided to change myself for the better inside from now on..trying hard to fix my inner part so that i'll be more confident to face the world as a muslim... to all my dear friends, i hope some of u may understand my situation..i am not trying to run away because i think i am too good for all of u guys but i think the opposite, i think i am not really good enough to be your friend.. i am so sorry...

i need to change my path first before i can totally become a good person and friend.. I know Allah always there for me and HE never ever leave me..