and A.G.A.I.N...

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My life would never be the same.. AND AGAIN each time I write or say that statement, surely something happened in my life.. I've been through a lot, yes I know, everybody has their own story. I always keep that in my mind but this is about me, my life.. I know I can be so selfish sometimes as I just talked about me.. I didn't mean to be so selfish, I just want to share, I just hope someone can listen.. I know HE always listen but still, hoping HE could send someone to hear & be with me when I need one..

 I never thought that my life is so good or too bad, just right in the middle.. Still in normal situation for a human being, like a wheel..sometimes I go up but sometimes I went down.. I don't really mind people giving me advises because I really need one to help me get my strength and confident again but yet, I don't really like when people keep on saying or remind me that my life isn't that bad, think about others who might have worst situation. Yes, I know, I always make sure that I remember that in my mind and heart but I'm the one who feel the pain, I'm the one who learnt all these new experiences and knowledge of life..

What I want to let you know is that bear in your mind that everybody is different, we have different stories to tell, we are unique in our own way, we have different characteristics.. So don't be ethnocentric.. If you want to know more about my life and the inner part of me, continue reading my writing, if you want to learn or gain something from my stories, feel free to do that..  If you want to think bad or say something bad about my life & stories, please stop reading my writing because I don't want you to hurt yourself as you might feel sick while reading my writing...I will feel really guilty for the rest of my life...

Trust me, I don't put blame on others because when I was a little girl, I do fight with my friends, well, just sometimes we fought for stupid things & even though I knew and sure that it was not me who start the fight, my father knew that but he never blame or get angry to other kids, he put the blame on me as I need to be responsible for each actions that I did.. So, I learnt from that, my guilty is always at the top & make me afraid to say things even though I know that I'm right except with my family.. If anybody hate me or get angry with me, I don't hate them, I may not like certain things in others but never hate others and normally I will cry like a little girl because I always think that "what I've done wrong this time?" that make others really mad at me.. I am so sorry, please forgive me, I didn't mean to hurt anybody..

I just hoping by sharing my story may help myself to be strong again and maybe could inspire others in some ways.. You may think that sometimes I am cynical in my writing but I didn't mean to point to anybody, it is about me, about what I feel inside my heart, mind & feelings. Please... try to know me first before you judge me, try to understand what happened to me in the past actually created who I am today but that doesn't mean I stay for who I am today.. I'm still in the process of learning, I want to improve myself for the better and trust me nobody is perfect..

If you don't like me or don't really adore my style, I'm fine because I know, we might not be able to like everybody even though they are our close friends or family members because I believe that we are different but please if you don't like me just don't like me...please don't hurt people around me.. Because they are not the one who do all those stupid mistake that I made, they are not the one who taught me to mess up things.. I am so sorry for everything..