1st day of Syawal

| |

Today is the first day of Syawal.. Because of my health condition, i didn't go to UQ for the Solat Sunat Aidilfitri.. Feeling a little sad but terrible at first I can't get up from bed, but I pushed myself to wake up & told my house-mates that I couldn't go..I asked for my friends help to bank in my money as I really desperate to buy flight ticket..Now, I don't have much money left..so need to get well soon as I need to work this Monday & Tuesday.. My mama sent me a message, "Pi sembahyang raya tak.. Sihat tak ari ni.. apa2 pun mama wish selamat hari raya..kami disini tak lupakan kak long..just enjoy urself dgn kawan2 luv u.." make me cry at first..try to be strong but after all that happened in this few months I try to struggle a lot with my feelings & my health.. Then I fall asleep again.. When I woke up, it's already 10 am.. I took a bath, then help my house-mate to deliver the corn flakes madu that we did.. After that, I call my mama again but my family was just on the way to tok's house..The same thing happened again, I keep on hurting myself when they(my abah's side of family) think that I'm fine here, thinking that I got a job meaning to say i'll be rich but then actually i'm not..I've been working as i don't have money to survive..i need money to keep me alive here..to buy food, textbooks.. I guess they never understand me.. Try to entertain myself..but still my heart in pain n miserable mood..nobody knows & cares..

Allah, give me strength & make me smile again..